Why I speak to my cat in Portuguese

I speak predominantly to my cat in Portuguese. Anyone out there who owns or loves cats knows that it's not strange at all to have conversations with them, so it shouldn't be weird that I speak to mine (as often as I do) in a foreign language. 

E and I speak predominantly Portuguese at home, on a daily basis. It's rare that he speaks, or responds to me, in English. I don't know if it's because that's the language that we used when we first met each other and started dating, because after all, we were in Brazil and he didn't know any English at the time. I mean, why change things up?

Even after all of these years, and the fact that he has since learned and been immersed in English, we still speak Portuguese. Maybe it's because I speak Portuguese better than he speaks English, maybe it's out of habit, or maybe it's because I'm an annoying English teacher (which I don't think so; I do help him and he appreciates and learns from me, but still....). 

How does the cat fit into this equation? Since I speak Portuguese at home, it only makes sense that I'd talk to my cat in the same language. I speak English at work, with friends, every time I leave the house, etc., but at home it's Portuguese all the way (unless I'm on the phone or on Skype). We watch TV and movies solely in English but that's about it. 

E talks to his friends on the phone in English, uses Facebook (never Orkut) and is otherwise surrounded by English, but I'm the exception (and the few Brazilian friends he has here). Even if we're out with Americans, speaking English, he'll almost always address me in Portuguese. We won't do this to be rude, I just see E and think "Portuguese" so it makes sense. I even discussed this once how I dreamt in English until he appeared in my dream, then I spoke Portuguese since I was talking to him. Must be habit then, correct? I think so. He hasn't given me any other explanation.

I do, however, believe that each time we're in New York with my family and childhood friends he speaks more English to me. Our goal is rarely to alienate someone (we can use our knowledge of a foreign language when we're out in public and want to have a private conversation). We therefore usually speak English around my family unless we want to say something to each other in private - then we shift to Portuguese.

All of this Portuguese speaking leads to the fact that I address my cat, Sebastian, in Portuguese as well. I mean, why would I speak to him in English if I don't speak to his "father" in English? Plus, it's more fun to call him gatinho, bebezinho, Sebastiaozinho, chatinho :). 

Marrying out (multicultural relationships)

I wrote a post recently about multiculturalism and mentioned that I had contributed to an article that was going to be published about Latinas marrying Non-Latinos. Now, while I'm not a Latina, and my husband IS a Latino, you may think that this does not include us, but in a way it does. We are in an interethnic and multicultural relationship (marriage). Consequently, the author of the article was interested in hearing my voice in regards to the issue of "marrying out" and included my input when publishing the article on NewLatina.net. 


I believe the article is interesting and informative, giving the viewpoints of people in multicultural relationships, and I think everyone should check it out (especially if you're in such a relationship). It's refreshing to read about the similarities that we have, regardless of our race, ethnicity, culture, or religion. And as the article states, "One thing is for sure:  our innate tendency is to move towards where the heart feels content, excited and peaceful…"


The article can be found at: Marrying Out: Why Latinas are Marrying Non-Latinos
Source: NewLatina (written by Angelica Perez-Litwin, PhD)

Thanks for visiting my blog and checking out the above links. as well as supporting communities like NewLatina and Multicultural Familia.


Take care,

What language do you dream in?

I remember being told by someone long ago that when you dream in your second (same could go for third or fourth) language that you have made it. Meaning you are fluent. I loved hearing that. I actually thought it was fascinating since I've been obsessed with languages for years, and that includes sign language. I've known since I was in high school that I'd be involved with foreign languages somehow in my life because I can say for sure that that and culture have long been interests of mine, hence my double major in college - Anthropology and Spanish. For years I'd wanted to know more about exchange students and when I was in 11th grade I jumped on the chance to apply to be one and adventure off to the unknown once I had graduated from high school.


I can't recall the first dream that I had in Spanish, but I know it was after I'd been living in Bolivia for some time. I imagine that it was after at least 6 months of being there. It makes sense. I spoke a lot of Spanish throughout the day - to my host families, friends, boyfriend, taxi drivers, store owners, etc. I don't remember that first dream being completely in Spanish, but I know that I was speaking Spanish as I dreamt. Once I woke up and realized what I'd done, I felt exhilarated. I had accomplished what only bilingual people do. Correct? At least I felt I could brag to people that I had dreamt in a foreign language.


Fast forward a number of years and I can say with assurance that I have dreamt in Portuguese as well. I know that I dreamt in the language while I was in Brazil and that I don't do so regularly. I mean, English is my native language and I didn't dream in a second language until I was 18 years old (while in Bolivia) so it's not a daily occurrence or anything, but it happens. Additionally, I often think and talk to myself in Portuguese. I catch myself doing this when I'm thinking about something that I want to say to my husband and I talk to my cat in both languages; I believe that comes from the fact that I'm constantly speaking Portuguese to E, so why not to the cat or to myself? It's a habit.


I remember once having a bad dream, not too long ago, that was in English. In this dream, someone was either going to hurt or kill me and I was scared, but all of a sudden E appeared and saved me. Once he entered into my dream I looked at him and spoke to him in Portuguese, thanking him of course. Once I was finished addressing him I reverted back to speaking/thinking/dreaming in English. Interesting, isn't it? It's like since I normally speak Portuguese with E on a daily basis, that transferred over to my dream and I interrupted my English language dreaming in order to respond to E's saving me, at which time I spoke Portuguese. When I turned back to speak to the other person in my dream, I must have assumed that he was an English language speaker like myself. 


For a multilingual, pseudo Anthropologist as myself this is all so interesting. I like to "study" my own language acquisition and learn from myself. I believe that it helps make me a better language teacher. I also observe my husband and those around me.


My questions now are....what language do you dream in? Do you have bilingual dreams? Does the language you're speaking in your dream change depending on who you're "talking" to (like me)? Do you speak your second/third/fourth language fluently when you dream?

My multicultural family

Our wedding day

I have a small multicultural family. Just me and my husband. Nevertheless, we are a multicultural unit. By "multi" + cultured I mean that we each have more than one culture. I'm an American of European descent. E is a Brazilian who is Native American and European. My native language is English and E's is of course Portuguese. We eat different foods, we grew up listening to music that the other had never heard of, and watching TV shows that the other will never get a chance to watch. Our traditions are diverse, our customs, our physical appearances, our likes and dislikes. And I know that E comes from an Amazonian (Brazilian) culture where my northeastern upbringing has greatly influenced the person that I am today. Neither of us had ever truly experienced the culture of the other and probably didn't really understand one another until we first slept in each other's childhood homes.

I got to thinking about multicultural relationships recently as I was introduced to New Latina, "a personal growth and lifestyle on-line magazine for women" by a good friend of mine from college. I realize that I am not a Latina, but I was asked by the founding editor and publisher to contribute to an article that she was writing about bicultural relationships (with a focus on Latinas and their "gringo" partners). I was asked a few questions via e-mail about my relationship and this started the ball rolling...in my head....and I started to think about this "bi/multi cultural" relationship/marriage that I'm a part of. And then, much like me, I started to read and read and read about other people's experiences and find it all so fascinating. 

By the way, once the article is published, I'll post the link here for everyone to read. I'm so proud.

Anyway, back to thinking about multiculturalism and how it's a part of my life....you know I realize that my husband is from a different culture than me, but yet it's not something that I dwell on. Hence, out of sight, out of mind. Wait, that doesn't make sense because it's not out of sight. But it is almost out of mind. I mean, I don't have daily thoughts about the fact that I'm living with someone who is not "culturally" like me. I'm just so used to E. Oh yeah, and did I mention that my mom told me last year that she thinks I'd be "bored if I had married an American"? Interesting.

What I want to say is that I don't feel huge cultural differences between my husband and me. Maybe it's because we met in Brazil so everyone was unlike me during the beginning - the foundation - of our relationship. I was used to being with someone who did not share the same customs as me, someone who didn't speak my language. Therefore, when we moved to the U.S. everything in our relationship seemed to me to be "normal". Plus, I'd dated foreigners in the past so I wasn't necessarily used to dating Americans. I didn't feel I was missing anything by not dating one. I actually noticed our cultural differences most when we went to New York to visit my family and stay with them for 2 weeks, especially when my mom whispered to ask me why my husbandbread for breakfast. But what is funny is that on our subsequent trips to NY there was more bread in my parent's house and yet my husband had picked up the habit of eating oatmeal for breakfast. I loved it!

Although after more than 6 years together we still are learning from each other and dealing with cultural differences, we're also used to being in a marriage with someone who is very unlike us in many ways, and I'd say, deal with it pretty well. I believe that living in each other's country has helped us better adapt, as well as having an open mind and an adventurous spirit. Oh yeah, and loving each other despite our differences. Isn't that the fun part anyway?

Wordless Wednesday: Portuguese language

Accents, Languages, and Confusion

Me (answering the phone): Hello?


Man: ochkochbogoshvendochkoshcarbogsh


Me: Excuse me?


Man: something along the line of, are you selling your car? (but this time I understood the language of the man to be Portuguese) how many miles does it have? is the price negotiable?


So I mumbled a response along the lines of, talk to my husband because he's the Brazilian, I gave him the price and answered that yes the price is negotiable. Really I didn't want to talk to the potential buyer because E knows how to negotiate, I had company over, and because my company are Spanish speakers and I had just spent who-knows-how-long speaking Spanish. I can't then be forced to switch languages, can I? And plus, he had a strange Brazilian Portuguese accent. Maybe he's from the Northeast? I know I always need to get used to the accent of a Brazilian who is from a region that I am unfamiliar with.


Have you ever tried speaking Spanish and then need to switch like a light being turned on to speak Portuguese? It's not easy. 


I started studying Spanish as an exchange student Bolivia, right out of high school. I had studied Spanish in high school, but we all know that you don't learn to say much more than "Me llamo...."  and "Tengo xx anhos [I don't have the accent mark so I cannot write this correctly]". I became quite fluent after returning from Bolivia as I majored in the language and studied and worked abroad. But then I went to Brazil after college. That's when my language skills got all messed up. I initially used Spanish in Brazil when I wasn't supposed to; but hey, it was an easier language to fall back on because people generally understood me. My neighbor once told me that I sounded like a Hispanic; that was a better compliment that being told I sounded like a gringa when I spoke Portuguese.


Now that I'm fluent in Portuguese and speak it on a daily basis, my Spanish has really suffered. In fact, I have difficulty creating a sentence in Spanish without mixing in Portuguese words. Or should I say throwing in? Either way, I speak portunhol very well. And yet I still try to speak Spanish Monday - Friday as I have a few students from Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic who either don't speak English almost at all, or at least don't with me. This has forced me to be more confident and try to separate the two languages in my mind, but it's not been a walk in the park. I have to think before I speak and try to slow - that's the part I dislike the most. I want to speak quickly like I do in English and Portuguese.


That brings me back to my conversation today. I tried so hard to speak Spanish to my visitors this afternoon that stopped by because I know that my friend feels more confident speaking Spanish. Plus, her mother-in-law is visiting from Venezuela and I know she understands a great deal of what I say in English, but does not speak it. They're so patient, kind, and understanding, but I feel like a mumbling fool sometimes as I try to get my brain to transfer from English to Portuguese to Spanish. 


God knows I spoke espaporinglish (a word a Colombian student of mine created as we used to speak a mixture of the 3 languages when we had get togethers with her family and Brazilians) to the my guests today and then spoke portunhol to the Brazilian on the phone. But I guess that's all part of being a trilingual. At least I can have fun with it sometimes. You gotta laugh at yourself once in awhile :).

My love affair with Manaus

I somehow knew, even before I received notification that I'd be teaching in Manaus, that that is where I was going to spend one year of my life while teaching EFL in Brazil.

I first went to Manaus in 2004 after being accepted into a program that allowed me to work as an intern teaching English at a language school. I was "hired" by a Brazilian NGO called IICA  (Instituto de Intercậmbios e Cultura Americana) that placed me in a very well known Brazilian school called Fisk. The school teaches English and Spanish; there are schools ALL over the country - and even in the movie that I love, "Bossa Nova". The particular school that I worked at is a franchise and the owner (my boss) frequently requests native English speakers to work at his schools in Manaus and in the nearby town Itacoitiara. In fact, there had been Americans working at his schools in the past, there were two while I was there, and there were more after my time. It's a great opportunity for both the American teachers and Brazilian students. It is truly an exchange program.

I worked in Manaus for a year. It was one of the best years of my short life. I had been to Brazil before, and I had volunteered in ESL classes in the United States, but this was a unique chance for me to really experience Brazil, learn the language (one of my goals for going to Brazil in the first place), learn more about teaching English, and spend more time in South America, the continent that I love.

There is not enough space here for me to describe why my year in Manaus was so unforgettable and just down right amazing (for lack of a better word) and I'm afraid to start and leave anything out. I'm sure that one of the best reasons was that that is where I met my husband, my love, E. (There is a post about him on this blog somewhere). But it's more than that. Manaus has so much to offer - a wide array of tastes and smells, of welcoming and wonderful people, culture, nature, contrasts, heat....

I fell in love in Manaus and at the same time with Manaus. I miss everything about the city and so much about the life I lived there. I miss what I did while in Manaus, I miss my job, my students, my friends, my trips, the Amazon River and forest, the neighborhoods I lived in, the places I frequented, the parties..... The city, and all that it encompasses, will always have a special, sweet place in my heart.

There will be another time when I will be able to find the words to describe in more detail my love affair with Manaus.

Do I speak English, Portuguese, or neither?

When I left Brazil in 2005 I spoke Portuguese with only the slightest accent; however, I could barely write an e-mail. Over time, my reading, writing, speaking, and listening skills have pretty much balanced themselves out and I consider myself fluent although my Portuguese language skills are no match for my English language abilities. I don't just mean because English is my native tongue, but I am college educated in English and I know that although I can write well in Portuguese, my ability is not even close to what I can do in English.

With that being said, I feel that I confuse the two languages (and don't even get me started on my Spanish language skills). When I return to Brazil I want to devote time and energy to improving my Portuguese, especially my writing. Maybe I'll finally make some use out of the grammar book(s) I own.

I used to be so adamant about not code switching when I speak Portuguese. But as E becomes more fluent in English and I speak less Portuguese on a daily basis, it's just kind of happened and I don't bother avoiding it. Code switching can be fun. I mean, who doesn't want to say "Você vai fazer laundry?" ["Are you going to do laundry?"] or "Vou pro office". The issue I have with all of this language confusion is that I occasionally forget words that I want to use in English and I'm not even living abroad (yet). It wouldn't be such a big deal to me if I could instead remember the word in Portuguese. I can't help it - second language acquisition is very interesting to me (and part of my Master's studies). 

I guess what I need to figure out is how to separate English from Portuguese (and Portuguese from Spanish) in my brain. In the meantime, I'll just enjoy my multilingualism.