Do you want a doorman? Think twice.

When I first moved to Brasilia I thought that having a doorman was, well, awesome. I had never had one before nor do I know anyone who has ever even mentioned having one. The only doormen that I'd ever seen before were those along the streets of New York City; in front of the expensive apartments/condos near Central Park. 


In Orlando we lived in a gated community, but that's definitely not the same thing. That was to provide us with security (even though 4-5 cars could sneak in before the gate closed). Honestly there wasn't much security there.


Now fast forward to my arrival in Brasilia where I have a doorman (I've seen 4 since we've arrived but it appears that there are 3 regulars). At first I LOVED it. I thought it was great that I receive a phone call when a new visitor arrives and then I can just request to have them sent up, or ask that they meet me downstairs. It's quite convenient to not ever have to carry my keys in hand when I get home because the doorman will just buzz me in. 


I thought how wonderful that I live in a safe apartment, a(n) (upper) middle class neighborhood where every building has a doorman. During our first couple days when we had questions about shops, about how things worked, etc. all we had to do was ask our over zealous next door neighbors or the doorman. Surely they knew everything since they'd been living or working in our neighborhood for sometime.


But that was when I realized that I may not be so sure if  I'm comfortable with having a doorman that surely does know everything about everyone. By the end of our first week the doorman had asked about "the famous Sebastian [the cat]" and that made me realize that people talk. One day the doorman (the man who works all day and even on Saturdays and sometimes Sundays) told me who my mail was from even when there wasn't a return label. I don't know if he's just observant or if he's nosy. Or maybe I'm just paranoid. I can't tell yet.


It seems that he knows too much about our lives; and when I say "our" I don't just mean E and me. The doormen know when people leave, with whom they leave, what time they return home, visitors that stop by, and how long the visitors are there for. This is too impersonal for me. I feel like I don't have that much privacy. In addition, I have neighbors that do not necessarily mind only their business. But that seems to be a cultural issue. My husband talks loud, as do many Brazilians, and one day our neighbor asked him when passing him in the hallway if that was him speaking loudly that one day. I don't like that. 


And so I conclude....having a doorman may give added security, it may be convenient, and the one doorman (who works every other night?) is really friendly and nice. Maybe the apartment is too small for him not to know our business, especially with my elderly neighbor talking up everyone in the building, and even the cat. I just feel like he knows too much and I don't like it. Maybe it's just that I'm American and used to my privacy and I love that I lived for four years in two different areas in Central Florida and I didn't know any of my neighbors; I never even spoke with them. I was not interested and that's that. Or maybe I'm being paranoid because people are a lot more in your business  social in Brazil than they are in the US. Who knows...