 |
| Our wedding day |
I have a small multicultural family. Just me and my husband. Nevertheless, we are a multicultural unit. By "multi" + cultured I mean that we each have more than one culture. I'm an American of European descent. E is a Brazilian who is Native American and European. My native language is English and E's is of course Portuguese. We eat different foods, we grew up listening to music that the other had never heard of, and watching TV shows that the other will never get a chance to watch. Our traditions are diverse, our customs, our physical appearances, our likes and dislikes. And I know that E comes from an Amazonian (Brazilian) culture where my northeastern upbringing has greatly influenced the person that I am today. Neither of us had ever truly experienced the culture of the other and probably didn't really understand one another until we first slept in each other's childhood homes.
I got to thinking about multicultural relationships recently as I was introduced to New Latina, "a personal growth and lifestyle on-line magazine for women" by a good friend of mine from college. I realize that I am not a Latina, but I was asked by the founding editor and publisher to contribute to an article that she was writing about bicultural relationships (with a focus on Latinas and their "gringo" partners). I was asked a few questions via e-mail about my relationship and this started the ball rolling...in my head....and I started to think about this "bi/multi cultural" relationship/marriage that I'm a part of. And then, much like me, I started to read and read and read about other people's experiences and find it all so fascinating.
By the way, once the article is published, I'll post the link here for everyone to read. I'm so proud.
Anyway, back to thinking about multiculturalism and how it's a part of my life....you know I realize that my husband is from a different culture than me, but yet it's not something that I dwell on. Hence, out of sight, out of mind. Wait, that doesn't make sense because it's not out of sight. But it is almost out of mind. I mean, I don't have daily thoughts about the fact that I'm living with someone who is not "culturally" like me. I'm just so used to E. Oh yeah, and did I mention that my mom told me last year that she thinks I'd be "bored if I had married an American"? Interesting.
What I want to say is that I don't feel huge cultural differences between my husband and me. Maybe it's because we met in Brazil so everyone was unlike me during the beginning - the foundation - of our relationship. I was used to being with someone who did not share the same customs as me, someone who didn't speak my language. Therefore, when we moved to the U.S. everything in our relationship seemed to me to be "normal". Plus, I'd dated foreigners in the past so I wasn't necessarily used to dating Americans. I didn't feel I was missing anything by not dating one. I actually noticed our cultural differences most when we went to New York to visit my family and stay with them for 2 weeks, especially when my mom whispered to ask me why my husbandbread for breakfast. But what is funny is that on our subsequent trips to NY there was more bread in my parent's house and yet my husband had picked up the habit of eating oatmeal for breakfast. I loved it!
Although after more than 6 years together we still are learning from each other and dealing with cultural differences, we're also used to being in a marriage with someone who is very unlike us in many ways, and I'd say, deal with it pretty well. I believe that living in each other's country has helped us better adapt, as well as having an open mind and an adventurous spirit. Oh yeah, and loving each other despite our differences. Isn't that the fun part anyway?
